Name: Ralph
Race: Assimilated Acadian
Height: 5'9"
Weight: I'm working on it, cut me some slack.
Location: In your mom.

A riddle, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a stocky bald man. He originally hails from Summerside, Prince Edward Island (no, he doesn't know 'Rob' or 'John' or whoever you once met from PEI), but has lived all over Canada.

A career army officer, Ralph is also a computer geek. A big one. It's pretty good odds that his computer is better than yours.

You can find Ralph in just about any Massively Multiplayer Online Game (MMOG) you can name, if you know what you're looking for. (Hint: He's the one telling horrible puns in General Chat, or commenting on your female Night Elf's tight booty. Rawr.)

Ralph has been a fan of KATG almost since the beginning (before shows were numbered!), but he also has another, greater love - Nobody Likes Onions. Pew pew pew, lasers, we got 'em!